a change i want to make

I want to make a change to my life, living wealthy in a jungle is quite boring actually. I mean, giving people all the orders i can think of is funny yes, but it gets boring after a while. What i really want to be is a Hollywood movie star. It should be an entirely different life, you take orders, give orders, get to play all the roles i can think of, from super villain to loving hero and, of course you will get really famous!

 Money can buy most of the things in this world but not make you famous, you get famous by working hard. You could get famous by wasting money but it does not make you happy, buying furniture for 100 million dollars and then burn them in an enormous bonfire is something you could do to make some headlines but that's just funny for a few days, then you realise it's a pure waste of money.

Another thing i would like to change is to just become a relatively poor person, poor persons are the only ones who know what happiness really means. You could try to just go into the indian countryside with just a little money but it's not the same thing if you leave greatness, it would be better to just start out as a very poor person and work my way up the social ladder.

Then i would realise what things to appreciate, that happiness is not money you got from your parents that could buy you 10 Maserati's for. But it's to late for that now, if i would try to be poor i would just miss the luxury of this life. One thing that would be pretty awesome would be to be born poor in the hood and then make myself a fortune doing gangster rap, that would be amazing because you work your way up the ladder from the bottom.

My utterly successful future

I hope to live a happy life in the future, the chances for a happy life are quite realistic because of my company, Alfonso oil. I founded it back when i lived in the Congo. My parents had given me a homework to impress them as much as i could without wasting any money so, i thought i would make some money instead. That's why i founded Alfonso oil,  its the largest petrol producing company in the world nowadays. Since prices in oil were quite low back then and it was rising slow but steady i could buy some offshore oil platforms in the gulf of mexico and some drilling sites in Texas. It has grown and grown to become the second most successful business in the entire world, after Apple. It's still growing very quickly so in the near future it will probably beat Apple in profits and then, i will become known in  history as the best entrepreneur in the history of mankind! hopefully in the near future i will have enough money to buy myself an entire nation and form the richest nation ever. I still think about what nation to purchase but it must be a small one so all the people can be wealthy, i cant give jobs to fifty million humans. I think about buying the nation of Honduras and turn it into an absolute monarchy with my family as the heirs to the throne. It has great potential, lots of natural resources and people that are easily corrupted by money.

My family

I live a decent family life, i have to keep my eyes on three wives and eight kids that all live in different huts in my complex. Of course i love all of my wives but since i meet many nice women while im married, when the opportunity presents itself i cant help myself. In Angola you can bribe the priests after all so having many wives isn't a problem. The names of my wives are the following: Lundi, Manteilobi and Hundigundi. I have five sons and three daughters, Hundigundi gave me four kids, Manteilobi three kids and Lundi has given me one kid. The names of my kids are the following: Yamir, Sadam, Rendik, Plantre, Ygorik, Mekletek, Ugereli and Qurijankti. You can probably guess what the boy names are and what the girl names are, at least if you know Afrikaans. Love is the most important thing in my life, that's why i cant stay with just one wife, as you may know you cant love the same woman your whole life because then you go crazy, that´s why i get married to younger women when i get the chance.

An interesting memory from the good old times

I remember one time when i was a young romantic spaniard, i was about 16 and had recently moved to a palace in Angola that my wealthy family had bought for me. The villagers in the town outside the palace were quite hostile to me because i was like a spanish mr steal yo girl. I remember one afternoon when i went down to the village market to buy some coconuts when five big african men caught me in a net and ran off with me. Since i didn´t come home that evening my head of security sent out a squad of private police officers to track me down if i had gone lost. While chaos reigned at the palace and half the village was looking for me i was locked inside a shed with four flamingos and food for a week. I don't know why the africans locked me in with four flamingos but i don't complain since this gave me the chance to study the amazing animal. Finally the soldiers arrived, arrested the men and brought me and the flamingos to the palace. These flamingos were the start of my enormous exotic animal garden and these very flamingos have created an enormous pack of flamingos which gives me food for the weekends.

My Gracious house

My house is a big wooden hut complex covering 2 acres of jungle, all the huts are stuck to trees. the complex is tied together by rope bridges high up in the air. This means i can have a huge garden under all the huts. The enormous hunting space i mentioned in my earlier post is situated below my complex, you could call it my backyard.

This pit of death situated below my complex encourages my family and especially all my kids to always be on the guard, the rope bridges ain't entirely safe and not to make to much noise because then the lions might get pissed. But don´t think for one second that my house is insecure, around my complex and hunting grounds i have a huge brick wall that stops intruders and if that wouldn't stop them a pack of charging rhinos probably will.

To get inside my house without putting my life on the line i simply have a guarded front gate which goes into a small tunnel that ends with a rope ladder up to the reception hut. Although Angola is a pretty poor country that ain't my problem because that means i can use the people as a cheap workforce. You see, having lots of houses and 5 acres filled with predators require lots of workers to keep everything nice and tidy.

 Of course all of my backyard ain't filled with wilderness and big game, i also have a little meditation garden with 10 different puppies and kittens for stress relief. In the garden i even have a little bar serving things to make you happier and less stressed, for example they serve regular things like alcohol but they also serve Exotic soups like Dingo soup and the legendary soup of Sappan.

this is me, Alfonso

My name is Alfonso Dermatorri, I'm 32 a 32 year old spanish man, i live in the Angolan jungle among elephants, panthers and natives. I grew up in a wealthy spanish-congolese family when i was a little kid, my father is a black congolese while my mother is a white sun tanned spaniard so this has given me a quite interesting skin color. I have four brothers and five sisters, most of them having the same skin color as me.

My greatest interest is actually something i got interested in when i lived with my parents in the Congo, its hunting exotic animals, i love it so much that i own an area of five acres where i breed rhinos, panthers and zebras for example so i can hunt them.

One thing i´m really interested in is my favorite treat its coconut cake filled with cream, mazarin and aloe vera, its something you cant get outside the jungle so i have a chef that knows the only recipe for this cake. If you make it the wrong way you get high every time you eat it which can make your life go to shit so I'm possibly the only person that can eat this delicious treat regularly.